Sunday April 30, 2006 // By Sarah
Sarah makes a passive-agressive online plea for our readers to talk some sense into Sandy regarding our lovely new antique oak coat rack.
Sandy is the master of the spatial. He can fit more items in a moving truck than anyone else. He can find ways to arrange the cabinets so they are like an interlocking puzzle of containers. He would like very much to reorganize our bookshelves based solely on size of book, so there is no empty space unaccounted for.
I don’t share this talent, or the associated compulsion. This occasionally leads to tension.
So right now we’re feuding over a new item of furniture. Sandy’s cousins have given us a lovely antique coat rack. I think it should go in the front hall where it can be shown off to its best advantage. But we have this table in the front hall, and it exactly fits the space between the door and the corner. In Sandy’s mind, removing a useful piece of furniture that exactly fits into an alcove in your house is a serious spatial betrayal. He just can’t handle it.
The controversial rack
So, we’re at a standstill, and the coat rack is in the living room, a place we both agree it doesn’t belong. As Sandy just said to me in a serious and concerned tone, as I told him I was posting about this, “this is a story without an end.”
That is a piece of furniture that most definitely belongs in an alcove next to the front door.
I really don’t have an opinion about the coat rack, but I just wanted to advise you that it’s not something you should get hung-up about. Much love your way as I begin the search for tickets.—The Poppa
I think you should park this at…my house. Yep, that’s where it should go.
Problem solved!
Now your public can see this is a question of geometry vs. decor. Sure, the entry table fits the space perfectly, but so what? It’s a polished wood table, kind of oriental in style, more fitting for a perfectly decorated suburban entry than a vintage apartment filled with antique oak. On the other hand, the hall tree is made for that space. Imagine putting a hall tree in a front hall—how novel!
This must certainly be a conversation piece, as in “What’s it doing here?” Left in your living room, it invites the unwary guest to sit down and risk getting impaled on one of the hooks. I say put it in the hallway where it belongs: it’s lovely!
It goes in the bedroom, duh. That’s where hooks and a mirror might actually come in handy. (Surely Sarah tires of Sandy leaving his underwear and socks on the floor. Draping it on this would be C-L-A-S-S-Y classy!)
Hall trees go in the hallway. But you already knew that!