I’m a man of slow, deliberate decisions. Witness my inability to recognize a good thing when it’s right in front of me, or to pop a particular question. These last couple months, however, a new dilemma has pushed the limits. Since mid-March I’ve been entertaining a particular thought in my head, a thought that started out as a little pipsqueak of an morsel of an idea and has grown, steadily, into a hobgoblin of distraction. Finally, about two weeks ago something clicked and the answer was clear: I had to quit my job.
So I did. It really was as close as I’ve ever felt to allowing my instinct to take full control of my actions. Like I said, I’m a deliberate man, and with this decision there were many ways to ask myself if it was the right thing to do, and many logical ways to answer “no.” But I didn’t want to say no, I wanted to believe this particular idea had merit, that it was coming from the voice of truth, so instead of no, I said fuck it, let’s see what happens.
What happened was that I instantly realized it was the right thing to do. I become surer every day. I was expecting mixed response from friends ands family—some congratulations and some questioning of my sanity. Instead it’s been entirely positive, which is great, but also makes me wonder what the hell I was waiting for. There really wasn’t one motivating factor, but rather a million. Nor one thing that pushed me over the edge. Basically one day the positives of quitting outweighted the negatives, and I knew it was time.
I’m excited for a lot of reasons. I’ve got a maelstrom of ideas swirling around in my head, and anxious for the chance to attack each one. There’s this wedding thing we’ve got to plan, and with a free summer I imagine I’ll be put in charge of all the little details. I want to try on a few new hats, pick up a few new skills and re-learn a few old ones. I may be most excited about the chance to just enjoy summer in Chicago. Basically, it’s time to step back and figure out what happens next.