I am so worth $900.

Last week I gave everything to Thomas at DCAP: the overpriced architectural drawings, the fire safety permits, the letter from the alderman’s office in support of our wedding plans, the letter from the tent company, the confusing green application sheets.

He told me it would take about a week, so after a week had passed, I started checking the online permit status website. No luck. According to the website, it was stuck on the final step of its approval.

So today I called Thomas.

Me: Hi! It’s Sarah Lieberman. I talked to you last week about some tents at Promontory Point?

Thomas: Oh yes. You are getting married, right?

Me: Yes! That’s me! And I was wondering about the permits? Because they’re not ready yet…and you said it would be a week.

Thomas: (sigh) OK. Hold on a second. I’m going to put you on hold. [Does not put me on hold. Puts the phone on the desk and shuffles papers around.] OK, the first one is done. Now hold on again. I’m putting you on hold again. [Does not put me on hold. Puts the phone on the desk again. Shufffles more papers.] OK. You’re all set. You can come pick them up now.

Seriously? That’s how it works? I should have known.

In any case, we are now the proud owners of two bona fide city tent permits. And I’m adding “permit expeditor” to my resume.