First, we bought the condo. Then, we bought the comforter and duvet cover. With a new set of sheets, we completed the set, allowing us to finally toss off that nasty plaid thing and settle ourselves under adult-caliber sleeping gear. May God bless the geese who gave up their feathers so we could be cozy beneath them.

Also God, while you’re at it, see if you can lift the hex those geese put on us that make it so damn hard to get out of bed in the morning.