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Soon we’ll be traveling down to Florida for our first long vacation since getting pregnant. We’re heading down to see my dad and his family, and it’ll be the first time they get to see Sarah and her embiggening belly. We’re looking forward to showing her off, with all the inappropriately probing questions from the 8- and 6-year old that will come with it. Seriously, these kids. Never met a boundary they didn’t bounce right over.
We’re also spending a few days on our own beforehand, decompressing before the third trimester kicks in and we go full steam ahead into parenthood. Besides all the normal reasons to be excited about sun and beaches, I’m looking forward to having some time to simply read, which has somehow fallen down to slot #98 on my priority list in recent weeks. I’ve got a few books on my shelf, as a I always do, but I wonder, as we quickly approach the zero-hour, if I should start to dig into the fatherhood literature. I’m not looking for manuals (thankfully I already have all I need), but more like interesting memoirs, or pop-science books on the physiology of a growing infant.
For perspective: one of my favorite parts of Steve Wozniak’s iWoz, ostensibly a book about the birth of the personal computer, was when he described his taking a hacker’s approach to fatherhood, like holding his newborn in his palm and perceiving subtle muscle motions to help him figure out what the kid was trying to tell him. I love that kind of stuff.
I have Neal Pollack’s Alternadad on loan, so I’ll probably start with that. Beyond that, not sure. Got any recommendations? I’ve got four months to bone up on this stuff before I’m out on my own. I’ll take any help I can get.
Matt Haughey
— Feb 17 / 22:27I can’t think of any good fatherhood books. I think all the good stories and advice I got was from Ask MetaFilter threads from new and soon-to-be dads asking for advice (there are a ton of threads covering that ground).
I tried to read a couple popular preparing for fatherhood type books and I was astounded with how bad they were. The advice was on the level of “help your wife with the dishes once in a while when she’s pregnant” and “try to be supportive and change a diaper once in a while” and other such nonsense. I think most fatherhood books are written for real deadbeat kinds of dads or something.
Grandma Amy
— Feb 18 / 11:54I can’t imagine what a fatherhood book would teach. For that matter, I can’t imagine what a motherhood book could teach. You can only start with what you know, so my advice is to start with what your parents did that you liked or disliked, then remember those lessons for your parenting style. As long as you are conscious of what you are doing, you’ll all end up great. And…hope you relax a lot on this vacation!
Jim
— Feb 18 / 13:24Babies and Other Hazards of Sex by Dave Barry. I note that Amazon.com contends that the “key phrases” in this book are “childbirth classes,” “Dairy Queen,” “Mister Rogers,” and “Santa Claus,” which should tell you something.
Drew
— Feb 24 / 11:21Gotta agree with Matt — I was pretty non-plussed with the Dad-centric books out there.
I really don’t remember much of anything I read beforehand. Once the little man arrived, though, we were referencing books and googling like crazy. Most valuable have been the AAP book on raising kids one to five, and Weissbluth’s Healthy Sleep, Happy Baby.