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Wednesday April 13, 2005 // By Sandy

The sound of two thousand monkeys ululating

That’s what our house alarm sounds like if you set it off. I learned this the hard way yesterday morning, due to an error of judgement and timing on our way out the door. The shock of it nearly killed me, instead causing my heart to get stuck in my throat on its way out to find a more sane person to inhabit. After recomposing myself and checking my pants for evidence of loosened bowels (all clear, thank god), I scurried over to the panel to shut off the horror. I’m sure it took me less time than it’s taking you to read this sentence, but it seemed like those monkeys were screaming at me for ages.

Trust me when I say you do not want to try robbing our house. The monkeys are evil, they are loud, and they will mess you up.

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